2013. As I entered the last couple months of 2013 and started reflecting on the past year I was not initally overcome with warm reflections….it was more like….well, exhaustion.
Some Days Are Diamonds,
Some Days Are Rocks,
Some Doors Are Opened,
Some Roads Are Blocked
Walls, Tom Petty
At first, because 2013 did not have the obvious outward sparkle and shine of previous years, I wanted to write it off as a blah year. But that would not be fair. While it did not hold the fanfare of years before, it might be one that changed my life more than I will realize for a long time.
2013 was a year of learning. Hard lessons, repetitive lessons, small lessons, big lessons. It was one of those years where a lot of days you just have to remember to put one foot in front of the other. My plate was full, too full. Which brings me to the most important thing I learned this year….and it was hard.
I learned to let go.
Somewhere during the slow drowning I was feeling God taught me how to let go. Let go of how you plan or desire your path to go and realize you can't control everything, you can't be everything and you have to pick and choose and that is, in fact, okay.
A few things I learned to let go of this year that lightened the daily burden I was feeling:
-Getting pregnant when I wanted. God's timing is perfect.
-Feeling defined by my business/career. Success, while a great, amazing thing can also become an enemy. I am working on letting my career be something I enjoy and find fulfillment in, but not define my time on this planet.
- Mother Guilt. Okay I am still working on this one but I am going in the right direction…most days…I think. I am doing the best I can; Henry is a happy, healthy child and that is all I can ask for.
-Feeling the need to blog*, tweet, go to events, etc. because I think I "should" rather than I want to. Everywhere you turn there is something you feel you should be doing, someone to keep up with, something to take up precious time. All these things are great, just in moderation. They are wonderful when they are fun, not when they become another job.
*Sorry for the lack of blogging this year (I needed that time for other matters) and THANK YOU for still reading when I do post.
I could go on for a while but I think that covers what really defined a change in me this year. I am thankful for 2013. It was a really good year. However, I am ready for 2014 and looking forward to a really great year.