Sunday, August 29, 2010

A Special Quiet Time

My Grandmother passed away. Tomorrow we will be celebrating her life, remembering her kind, gentle and humble spirit. Her passing was a blessing after years of illness but it hurts...a lot. However, there is comfort in God and for that I am so thankful. I couldn't think of a better way to honor Nonny and praise God for his promise to us than the Prayer of Saint Francis...

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.**The final years of my Grandparents life were hard on everyone but especially my Mother. Watching her care for sick parents was heart breaking. I am saying a prayer for all of you who are caring for your parents. Judy Goldman wrote a wonderful article in Real Simple that really hit home for me. I recommend reading it....

"Near the end of her life, I could not see beyond my mother’s childlike stare, the confused disorder in her eyes. I could not feel anything but the ache of having to be my mother’s mother. After she died and I had finally shaken off the last shiver of the disease, I was able to remember what she had been like before Alzheimer’s.

I could see her turn her wrist to adjust her watch. There she was, at her dressing table, leaning into the magnifying mirror, plucking her eyebrows. I could see her dipping the tiny wand in the brown Mercurochrome bottle, painting my bruised knee orange. She was the grown-up. And I, again, was the child."

-excerpt "Losing My Mother", full text HERE

50 comments:

Miu said...

I'm so sorry for you.

Janell @ Isabella and Max said...

I am sorry for you and your family's loss. Janell

Karen@StrictlySimpleStyle said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My own grandparents were so dear to me that I can only imagine what a difficult time this must be for your family.

Dumbwit Tellher said...

Marianne - could not read the piece from Ms. Goldman without crying. She had me at Mercurochrome bottle. Aren't we so blessed to have had such amazing people in our lives? My thoughts and prayers are with you all tomorrow.

Gods Peace xx

Red Door Home said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dayka (Life +Style) said...

so sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing, marianne. what beautiful photos of you together, and the prayer of st. francis is one of my faves. sending prayers up for your family--especially your mother.

lizziefitz said...

May God grant you and your family peace.

Melissa @ Veranda Interiors said...

Marianne, my heart is breaking for you and your family. I hope that you will find peace soon enough and be able to smile when you look back at all of the beautiful images that you have of you and your grandmother.

You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers. (((hugs))) xoxo

Katie said...

I will be praying for you and your family as you navigate this bittersweet event, Marianne ...

Katie said...

So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you this week. xo

A Perfect Gray said...

thank you for a beautiful piece in memory of your grandmother. thinking of you with lots of love...

donna

Susie @ Maddie's Nest said...

Marianne, prayers for you and your family during this tough time. Your tribute to your grandmother was beautiful and has me teary. Thinking of you.

Meg said...

Oh what a sad day for you and your family, my heart goes out to you and you will be in my prayers! There is a bond like no other between a grandmother and granddaughter like no other, I can see that in the picture of you two!

Take care!

Megan

Melissa said...

Having watched my mother care for her parents, and my father's mother, in their final years, I know what a toll it takes. I'm so sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing, but I hope that there is grace in the memory of her and the celebration of her life, and that you and your entire family find peace.

Splendid Sass said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Grandmother, but she is in God's hands now. There is a special peace in knowing that.
I will be thinking about you and your family.
Teresa

Ms. Bright said...

SO very sorry that you are hurting. I promise you that I can sympathize. I lost my MIL and my dear Gram in the past 8 months. I just try to remember everyday that THEY are the lucky ones who are "home" now.

Praying that you'll have peace.

EJR said...

I'm sorry for your loss. xoxo

A Lasting First Impression said...

I am so sorry for your special loss. I too just lost my Grandma, I know that feeling of loss and joy at the same time. Prayers for you and your family while you come together to celebrate a life well lived!
Love the picture of you in your wedding dress, so very beautiful!

Molly Jean said...

my thoughts are with you & your family. all the best.

bobbi said...

I am so sorry. Grandparents are great. I lost my Grandad almost four years ago and i still think about him every day...but now everytime i think about him I smile and I hope this is what will happen to you very soon.
bobbi

Erin from Skoots and Cuddles said...

I never really know what to say. I'm sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

24 Corners said...

Grandmother's hold such a specical place in our hearts, they fill us up with so much love...so much good, that we cherish and carry around with us forever.
May yours and your families hearts be filled with the remembrances of the sweetness that was your Nonny.

Comfort and peace,
xo Jessica

Gramercy Home said...

What a beautiful woman! And, what a beautiful post. Hope your joyful memories help keep you spirit light.

Dobbygirl said...

I'm so sorry, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Brooke @ Blueprint Bliss said...

I've been thinking about you. So glad you have those sweet photos of the two of you.

Design Esquire said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Emily said...

So sorry for your loss Marianne. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

JMW said...

My deepest sympathies, Marianne, so sorry for your loss. That article from Real Simple brought tears to my eyes. Having dealt with a life-threatning illness that afflicted my mother this summer and her on-going recovery, it is hard to play the role of parent to one's parent. God bless your mom and I hope that she can return to those loving memories she has of her mother, where she was the child and her mother the caregiver.

A House and Home said...

I'm sorry and hope you take comfort in the presence of your family and friends. There is something very special and sacred in the time just before and after someone dies. I have the prayer of St. Francis on a tiny plaque just above my key ring. Before I go out the door, I see it every day. I love it. It got me by for quite some time in the period just after my husband's dad and my mom died within a short time frame. I hope it does the same for you.

Lila said...

My heart goes out to you. I'm sure she's in a better place. Much love and hope you are doing okay.
xoxo
Lila Ferraro

Kim@Chattafabulous said...

So sorry for your loss. Sending prayers for comfort for you and your family.

Krista said...

So sorry for your loss ...

You have your grandmother's cheek bones. It's remarkable, actually.

Again, I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

Tenley said...

Marianne, I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I am praying for you and thinking about you right now and am so thankful that you had such a special person in your life.

Hamptontoes said...

How sad to loose one we love, regardless of them having been ill or not. Saying goodbye is sad. I am sorry to hear that your grandmother has passed. May you wrap yourself in her memories. I will be thinking about you. You certainly have some lovely photos of the two of you...what a treasure they will always be.

carlee said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, Marianne! Thinking of and praying for you and your family!

Suzie @ cupcake monkey said...

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. :(

Lauren said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, praying for you and your family!

Viera said...

Dear Marianne
I am so sory to hear about your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
X
V

Dreamy Whites said...

Dear Marianne
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take Care,
Maria

Mary said...

Dear Marianne,
I am so sorry to read about your Grandmother. I too know how hard it is to lose someone you love. I hope you get a sign from her that lets you know she is still with you.

My Interior Life said...

I missed several days of blog-reading, so I just scrolled back and read this. I am so sorry for your family's loss. And that article was so touching and heartbreaking. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

3 Peanuts said...

Oh I am so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers...these photos of you and your grandma are beautiful.

Aimee@ the Functional Space said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

red ticking said...

dear marianne...
i am so behind on my reading and i am circling to my favorites now and just read this. my heart breaks for you and your family...my grams passed 10 years ago and i still think of her constantly... it was hard on all of us but when you mentioned your mom... i thought of mine... they were SOOOO close and my mom was her only "daude" ... i can truly say my grams was the best woman i will ever know... besides my mom.. and i am sure you feel the same... God is good... He will help you... and cradle you in His arms... love you friend...xx pam

Bailey@ peppermintbliss said...

Marianne, I am just getting caught up on some blogs and saw this. I am so sorry for your loss, I hope you get to celebrate her life and happier times with your family. Much love.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for the loss of your Grandmother. I miss mine so much but have such great memories. Hold your memories close and you will find comfort. Judy Golman's article makes those of us who have gone thru Dementia and similar diseases with our parents or other loved ones that it is okay to have felt the feelings that we had of despair and wishing that it would be over. Thank you for publishing that! I felt some of the guilt leave my body as I read this.

Pink Wallpaper said...

i am so sorry for your loss....grandparents are so special and it is so painful to have to see them sick. my mom took care of my grandfather during the last months of his life and it is just so hard and sad for her. but we know that they are now in a better place with no suffering or pain....just love.

Carmie, the Single Nester said...

I will say a prayer for your grandma. Having lost my brother a few months ago, I am ready for fall because this summer has been horrible.

Corinna White Charlton said...

oh this is heartbreaking and reminds me of my beloved grandather's passing almost years ago now.
what a beautiful excerpt by Judy Goldman. i love the photo of your wedding day. grandparents are such a gift.